From The Past To The Future

Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, Final Chapter

Chapter 1.

Life as a teenager is hard. No matter what age. It doesn't matter if you're 13 or 19. It's still hard.Even in Jr. High things start to get competitive. Your popularity all depends on your hair, your clothes, what special classes you take at school, how much money you have, what kind of car your parents drive, and who you hang out with.
Me, well I was only thirteen at the time, but this really opened my eyes. It was my first year of high school. Well my first year of Jr. high school, and unknowingly I was hanging out with the cool kids. It was my first year living in Florida and life was so much different. Being originally from Belgium, life took a little more time to get used to. Life in Belgium was at a nice, slow, calm speed. But life in Florida was fast, cool, and explosive. School was really different and I really had to study hard for english, since I didn't know it that well. You had the nerds, the artistic kids, the rich kids, the jocks, the skater kids, and the rich, jock, and cool kids all mixed into one.
Unknowingly, I was thrusted into the rich, jock, and cool group. I went into the lunchroom on the first day, and a group of people pulled me to their table. And there I made friends.
But as the school months flew by, this one kid stood out from all the rest. I don't know why, I just remember sitting out on the big rocks in front of the school during lunch with my 'popular' friends, and this little blonde kid would come running out of the two swinging doors, carrying his black backpack and praying the kids on the rocks wouldn't make fun of him. His name was Nick Carter and man did those people treat him rough. I really felt sorry for him, "Ew! Is Nicky's little mommy here to take him away from school again!" John, one of my friends yelled, "God that kid is such a baby." Lynn, another 'friend', laughed as I watched Nick walk by, trying to ignore their comments, he looked over at me for a moment and I gave him a warm smile, trying to convince him I wasn't really one of them. He looked away from me as one of my friends yelled something at him again, "Leave him alone guys." I said as I watched Nick crawl into his mom's station wagon.   "Oh come on Patricia," Sabrina, another friend of mine laughed as she looked at me, "the kids a loser. You know you wanna make fun of him."
"No I don't." I said, looking very mad and I knew I had those ligthnings in my eyes like I could shoot her any second, I looked away watching the wagon speed away.
"Patty, (that's short for my name Patricia), the kid always gets out of school early."Lynn said as she looked over at me.
"So what? You don't know why. Maybe he has to because he's got health problems or something." I shrugged.
"Not likely." John laughed, "Yah, he gets out of school because he sings and dances, he's got some kind of try outs and lessons and stuff." Mike laughed with John.
"Yah well," I said as I stood up off the large gray stone and dusted my butt off, "maybe he's talented. Maybe he'll be something huge someday and you all can say, 'I made fun of him in Jr. High'. And we'll see how many friends you have then." I said as I jumped off the rock.
"Yah, and you can say 'I stood up for him'." Lynn laughed.
"Yah I can." I said as I started to walk back to the school.
"Where you going?" they yelled after me.
"I'm gonna go eat lunch…"
"So Sabrina, you know anything about the Carter kid?" I asked, playing with the straw that stuck out of my small milk carton. When I wasn't around my friends, I hung out with my best friend and computer specialist Sabrina. She was only about four foot two inches, and she had red hair she always wore in braids, and she was one of the biggest fashion crimes I had ever seen, but I loved her to death.
"Oh," she mumbled as she looked around the lunchroom full of kids, "did he leave yet?"
"Yah, I saw him run out of school. You know John and everyone treats him so bad." I said, putting down my candybar.   "Everyone treats him like that." Sabrina said looking back at me, "But he is so cute, isn't he?" she asked with with a huge smile, showing off her braced teeth.
"Well I don't think he is." I said, looking up from my milk, "But I feel sorry for him, I bet he's really nice and well, yeah maybe he's cute too."
"He is." She said dreamily, "I have math and history with him."
"Really?" I asked, "I don't think I have anything with him."
"Mm," she mumbled, "he hates math, but he likes history."
I smiled at her, she really was hooked on him, wasn't she? Why hadn't she ever told me. "Why didn't you ever tell me you liked him so much?" I asked, speaking my mind.
"You're a popular. I didn't think you'd care, and if you did, I didn't want to ruin your reputation. Why do you think I never talk to you when you're around the other populars?" she asked.
I looked at her shocked. This was my best friend here, did she really think of me like that. I just prayed I wasn't letting my stupid popularity get to my head, "Well Sabrina, I want you to tell me everything." I said quietly.
She smiled, "I was just kidding." She laughed, "The real reason I didn't tell you is because I don't think he likes me."
I let out a sigh of relief and a warm smile, "Oh I bet he does."
"No, I bet he'd like you though."
"Uh uh, I bet he'd like you more…"

The next day at school I was trying my hardest to stay away from my 'cool' friends. For some reason, I didn't feel like them anymore. I was sick of them treating people like crap and I didn't want people seeing me with them. I wanted to be me, and not one of them. I was standing at my locker, inside I was looking for my yellow text book, I was so caught up in my vain searching, I almost missed the quiet nock on the door of my locker. I quickly grabbed the door that was open on my right and swung it shut, to my surprise, it was Nick Carter, "Nick?" I asked dumbfounded. I wave of shock crossed his face, "You---you know my name?" he asked quietly.
I smiled, "Yes I know your name. You don't mind if I call you Nick, do you?" I asked.
"Mind? No I don't mind! I hate being called Nicky." He smiled.
"That's probably why everyone does it." I said quietly.
"Yah." He said, looking away from me for a moment.
"So, what's up?" I asked.
"Um---I don't know how to ask this." He said, looking back at me.
"Well, try." I said with a warm smile.
"Well I know you're in the 'in' crowd. So I was wondering if you could do a big favor for me." He said hopefully.
"Hey, I'll try." I said, "But you gotta tell me what it is first." I said with a smirk.
His blue eyes sparkled along with his smile. God this kid was cute. Short, high voice, and funny hair, but adorable, "I was wondering if you would ask Lynn Lee out for me." My smile faded away and was replaced with shock. Ohmigosh. There was no way Lynn would go out with him. She thought he was a 'dork'. But he looked so hopeful! How could I say no to that face, "I uh---I can try." I choked out.
"Really?" he asked with a hopeful smile.
"Really." I smiled.
"Thanks!" he said as he stood up on his tippe toes and pecked me softly on the cheek. He smiled at me one more time before disappearing down the hall. I sighed as I went back to my locker. What do you know? My yellow notebook was right in front of my eyes in the first place? I pulled it out and slammed the locker shut, I saw Lynn, Rachel, and John coming down the hall. So I held the notebook up to the side of my face and started down the opposite way of the hall, praying they wouldn't see me.
As I looked out of the corner of my eye, I bumped into someone, "Oh I'm sorry." I said quickly, holding the person by the shoulder. It was Sabrina, and she was on the verge of crying, "Sabrina, you all right?" I asked. She looked like she was about to blow, "All right? All right!? Am I all right!?" she yelled at the top of her lungs in the middle of the hall, everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at us, "No I'm not alright! You know Patricia, I thought you were different. I thought you hung out with those jerks cause you didn't want to tell them the truth that you didn't like them." She yelled, tears streaming down her face as she pointed over at Lynn, Rachel and John who were in complete shock of her outburst, "But now I can see you really are like them!"
"Sabrina! What are you talking about!" I finally yelled back.
She stared deeply into me for a moment, "I saw him kiss you." She said in a whisper.
"Kiss me?" I whispered to myself.
"Nicky! I saw him kiss you!" she screamed again, before running to the woman's bathroom.
I stood in the middle of the hall, staring down at the floor. People started walking around me but Rachel, and the other two walked up behind me, she placed her hand on my shoulder, "Ew, she's not jealous, is she?" she asked with a laugh.
"What do you mean?" I asked as I turned around to face her.
"You would never kiss that Nick freak." Lynn laughed, "She's just trying to make a rumor up about you. What a dork." She laughed as she looked at the bathroom.
I turned back to the bathroom and started towards it, I was stopped by Mrs. Thornburch, the principle, "She doesn't want to see you right now Patricia, just go to your classes."
"But I just need to explain to her what---" I started.
"Patricia." She said calmly, giving me that 'don't continue' look.
"Yes ma'am." I said quietly before turning away with my books under arm and walked to my class across the hall. Taking one last look to the bathroom, I saw inside as a student walked in, Sabrina was sitting on the floor against the wall with my favorite teacher hovering over her and handing her tissue, "Ugh. What have I gotten myself into?" I asked as I pushed open the door to my class…
"Lynn, I know you don't like him. But you haven't even given him a chance, he seems sweet enough." I said to my full-length mirror, "Oh yah, that'll sell her." I mumbled to myself as I looked down at the magazine on my bed. On it was a man with the newest hair cut. It was what is now called a mushroom. I picked up the magazine and studied the picture, the thought of how cute Nick would look in it crossed my mind, but I quickly discarded it. I'm sure he didn't want to change himself for this girl, he probably wanted her to like him for himself, right?
"No, I will do whatever it takes." Nick said the next day at school.
"Nick." I sighed as I closed my locker, "Do you really want to change yourself for her? I guarantee she's not worth it."
"To me she is. And yes, I'm sure. I don't have a lot of money but I'll do whatever I can with what I have. And I know I can do it if you help me."
I looked into his eyes and let out a sigh, "Fine!" I said, throwing my arms in the air, "Do what you want. Change yourself, be something your not, just to make this girl happy."
"Thanks." He said, giving me another dreaded kiss on the cheek, "I knew you'd understand." He smiled, "I want to ask her to the dance at the end of the school year, so we have to have everything done before then."
"Can you grow five inches in three weeks?" I asked with a smirk.
"No, but we can buy big shoes." He also said with a smirk, his was cuter though.
"Whatever." I laughed.
"Alright, we'll go to the mall tomorrow, ok?" he asked, with eyes sparkling with excitement.
"Ok." I smiled.

I woke up the next morning to the bright Florida sun glimmering into my room. Remembering I had to pick up Nick for the mall (yuck, malls on Saturday are always a pain) I crawled out of bed. I walked over to the mirror and made a disgusted face at the way I looked, I placed on a little make up, pulled my hair in a ponytail and ran to my closet. I yanked out a baby blue tank top and a pair of jeans, oh and we can't forget the sandals. I quickly ran down the stairs after noticing how late it was already, noon.
As I ran through the kitchen I was stopped by my freshman brother, "What Jordan?" I asked.
"I heard you're taking that little Carter kid shopping?" he asked with a cheesy smile as he looked down at me.
"Listen," I said as I poked him in the chest with my finger, "leave him alone. Don't say anything mean about him, he's a sweet, nice guy."
"I wasn't going to be mean to him." Jordan said defensively, "I see how your friends treat him, it's too bad. I just wanted to tell you it's really cool how you're making friends with him."
"Really?" I asked, slightly surprised.
"Really." Jordan smiled.
"Thanks man." I smiled, punching him in the shoulder.
He laughed, "Get out of here!"
I smiled one last time before running past him. My older sister, Lindsy was waiting impatiently at the front door, "Sorry." I said as I stopped in front of her, "Come on, we gotta go pick up Nick then get to the mall." I said as I ran out the door.
Lindsy let out a groan before following me, I hopped into her yellow BMW bug and I directed her to Nick's house, I wasn't positive, but I was pretty sure it was across the street from a old folks home his mom owned and ran. Once we found the home, I looked across the street at the small white stucco home, "I think that's it." I said, pointing over at it.
"It's cute." Lindsy said as she pulled into the driveway. I hopped out of the car and ran to the door, I knocked, and it was quickly opened by a small female version of Nick, "Hi uh, is Nick home?" I asked.
"Are you Patricia McBright?" she asked.
"Yah, I am." I said slowly, has Nick been talking about me?
"What are you doing here?" she asked, surprised.
I was drawn back for a moment but recovered quickly, "What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well you're the most popular girl in Nick's school. Popular people never come here."
"Most popular?" I asked. I hated that title, "Um, you Nick's little sis?"
"Yah, I'm BJ." She said, opening the screen door and reaching her hand out to me I shook it with a smile. "You know Bj, I really don't like the title popular, I'm just a normal girl like you are."I said, "You're cool anyway", she said back to me.
"Nick's out in back with his dog. You can either walk through or around the house." She said.
"Um, I'll just walk around." I smiled, "Thanks BJ, and it's nice meeting you." I said as I walked off the step.
"You too." She said before closing the door and walking back into the house.
As I walked around the house, I noticed the huge, but worn, trampoline. Apparently full of memories of little kids jumping and laughing. The backyard was small, like the house, but very well taken care of. The grass was a bright green and trimmed apparently just hours before. You could notice thanks to the sweet aroma. And there was a small flower garden with a large tree stump smack dab in the middle. I noticed Nick, leaning over a large black dog and trying to pull a stick away from it, "Pepper! I swear! Give me the stick!" he shrieked.
He gave it one last violent tug, the dog let go, and Nick went flying backwards, landing on his butt with a huge thud, I started to laugh and he looked over at me. A look of embarrassment washed over his face and he quickly stood up and dusted off his jeans, "Uh, hi Patty." He said with a convincing smile.
"Hi Nick." I said as I tried to sober up, "You ready for the mall."
"Um yah, let's go." He said walking over to me and taking me by the arm before dragging me around the house, "Please don't tell Lynn about that." He asked as we walk around.
I looked over at him, "Nick, I won't. She didn't see it she doesn't have to know."
He looked at me and cracked a smile. I opened the car door and hopped in the front seat, he slid in the back and slammed the door shut, "Well hello Mr. Carter." My sister smiled as she reached back to shake his hand, "I'm Patricia's sister, Lindsy."
"Hi." He said with a smile as he shook her hand.
She smiled before turning back to the steering wheel, "So you and my sis dating?"
I looked at her as my mouth flew open, "No we are not dating." I hissed.
"But Patty is helping me get a date." Nick smiled.
"Really, with who?" Lindsy asked as she pulled out of the driveway.
"Lynn." I said in a low voice as I looked over at my sister.
"Ew." She said shaking her head, "That girl is nothing but a snot."
"She's cute though." Nick said, "Maybe she won't be as snobby once you get to know her."
"I don't know." Lindsy sighed, "Girl's like Patricia play like their cool, but inside they're sweet. Girls like Lynn are just down right rude and snobby, they never care how a person feels when they make fun of them."
I looked from my sister to Nick in the backseat, he was looking out the window, apparently thinking. I didn't say anything, I just sat down straight in my seat.
We arrived at the mall a few minutes later, "I'll be back in two hours to pick you up. Meet me at the northern entrance. Don't be late cause I am not going in there to look for you." She said as I got out of the car along with Nick.
"Ok." I said as I slammed the door. She drove off and I looked up at the mall, "So." I sighed, "What do you have in mind…"
"I wanna get a suit," Nick said as we walked through the mall, "nothing to fancy, but something that'll make me feel cool."
"You are cool, Nick." I said as I looked in the window of a shoe store.
"No I'm not." Nick said quietly as he stood next to me.
I turned to him, "Yes you are. Everyone's idea of cool is how the snobby people act at school. That's not cool. Cool is being yourself and being happy about it."
"Why are you so different than everyone else?" he asked after being quiet for a moment.
I walked past Nick, "Because I'm sick of the way all my friends treat everyone like crap, I wanna treat people like they should be treated, with respect."
Nick caught up with me, "You're so different. But I like that." He smiled.
I smiled as I looked at him, "Thanks Nick."
He smiled.
Earlier in the day we had gotten Nick a totally cool outfit. It was a pair of black slacks with a blazer jacket, and a bright white dress shirt for underneath. I was a casual thing for the dance, but I saw Nick when he tried it on, and he really looked almost…handsome.
Now we were sitting in the back of Nick's house, eating ice-cream and looking up at the dark night sky, "So Nick," I said as I leaned up against the railing of the porch, "why do you leave school so early anyway. I must admit, I'm jealous." I joked.
Nick cracked a smirk and played with his ice cream, "You'll laugh."
"No I won't." I said simply.
Nick continued with his ice cream, "My mom calls me a dream chaser. That's what I am. I'm totally addicted to music. It just takes me over and I love it." He said looking up at me, "Someday I want to sing and dance and travel around the world. I want to sign a record deal and I'll work as hard as I have to to get there."
I stared at him for a moment, "Lessons? Is that why you leave?"
"Yah, dance and vocal. But I also have competitions and try-outs for shows and stuff." He said as he looked back at his ice cream.
"That's cool." I said.
He looked up at me, "You really think so?"
"Yah, it's cool that you've got the courage to try doing what you love to do. It's cool that you're chasing your dream and not letting people like John and Rachel get in the way." I said, looking down at him from the railing of the porch I was now sitting on.
"I think you're the first girl my age that tells me what I do is cool." He smiled quietly, "I admit, what I do now isn't too exciting, but I just feel like someday it will be." He said, looking back at me.
"I feel it too Nick." I said and I started to hope that his dream would come true.
He looked back down at his ice cream, "So uh, what do you really think about the cool guys in school?" he asked, spooning at his bowl.
"They're really just jerks." I shrugged, "They act all cool at school but at home they're just like you and me. I'm really sick of all the fights that have been breaking out at school. They're so pointless."
"Why?" Nick asked, looking up at me, "Doesn't it prove a point?"
"Fights? No, fights don't prove points and that's not why they do it. They do it because it makes them feel like they're big and bad. I think it just makes you a little kid who's trying to act like an adult and hurt someone else. It's stupid. I think it really takes courage and a strong person to walk away." I said, looking down at Nick.
Nick nodded, "I guess I never really thought about it."
I smiled as I jumped off the railing, "I gotta get home. See yah later." I said, leaning over and kissing his cheek, "I'll see if we can do something tomorrow."
That night I laid in my bed. With my notebook and pen placed securely in my hand. I, along with my 'oh-so-perfect' friends, Rachel, Susie, and Miriam, were in charge of the dance. I drew little circles on the paper while I thought about what kind of odd and end food we should have catered. Rachel had actually came up with a good idea, the title for the dance would be the Princess' and Princes' of starlight. The whole basketball court of the school would be decorated with stars and medieval kinda princess and princes kind of crap. They were going to rent a couple disco balls which when turned on in a dark room, made little perfect stars dance on the walls. I thought it was a cute idea. As I smiled and reflected on the thought, I hadn't noticed what I had doodled. A couple stars here, a few swirly circles there, and four letters…N-i-c-k. Nick? I thought to myself. But then I couldn't help it, I smiled…

Chapter 4

"Ok, I'm not going to tell you what to do or anything, it's your decision." I said to Nick as we sat in the hair stylist's waiting room, "But don't do anything drastic. You're hair is fine already, no need to go all crazy."
Nick looked up from the hair magazine, "What do you think about that? The mushroom cut?" he asked, looking at me and showing the magazine page to me.
"My dad calls it a bowl cut, but it's not. I think it's pretty cool. But that's too drastic right now. Maybe when you're older." I joked, patting his head. He smiled as he looked back down at the magazine. I had been spending the past week with Nick, going to his house, him coming to mine. And after a little bit, I realized we were hanging out for no real reason. Just hanging with each other was fun. I even must admit, that I got a crush on him.
"Here," I said leaning over and looking at the magazine on his lap, "Get that, that would look amazing on you."
"I don't know what to do." Nick sighed, "No matter what I do everyone will still make fun of me."
"No they won't." I said looking at him.
"Yah they will, cause I'll still get out of school earlier than them." He said looking back at me. I cracked him a warm smile then I heard a woman call his name, "Nick Carter." She said looking around the room.
"It's like a death penalty." He jokingly whispered before standing up, "I'll be back in a few." He said as he followed the woman to a separate room.
I sat back in my chair and thought about the last week. Nick sang, but I've never heard him sing. I couldn't help but wonder if he was any good. When was I going to be able to hear him?
Then a smile spread across my face. Wouldn't it be cool if Nick did score a record deal, sell lots of records, travel the world, and have lots of girls run after him? That would show everyone at my school. I looked down at my folded hands when I heard a knock on the window behind me. I turned around and saw Sabrina. I hadn't talked to her since she blew up at me in school. I smiled and stood up as I quickly raced out of the shop, "Hey Sabrina, you talking to me now?" I asked. I had tried calling her countless times, but she would never answer the phone and when someone did, she would tell whoever answered it that she didn't want to talk to me.
"Yah, I know I was over reacting. If Nick likes you then I'm happy." She said with a false smile.
"Me and Nick aren't anything special Sabrina," I said with a smile, I wanted to tell her that I was really helping Nick to impress Lynn, but that would just hurt her feelings too, "we're just hanging out. He's a really fun guy to be around."
"Yah, he is." She said looking down at the cement under our feet. "I mean, I wouldn't know," she said quickly looking back up at me, "I've only gotten to be around him during math and history."
I nodded my head as Nick tapped on the glass, I hadn't even noticed how quickly the time had passed, he plastered a cheesy smile on his face and pretended to model the new haircut. I smiled, whoa, he looked really good.
I nodded and flashed him thumbs up, "Come here." I mouthed.
He held up his finger telling me to hold on, "I've got to pay." He mouthed back.
I nodded and he disappeared for a moment, I turned back to Sabrina, "I'm trying to teach him how to be cool." I said with a little laugh.
She nodded, "Um, I'm gonna get going." She said as she nodded away, "The new Christian Slater movie came out on video yesterday, maybe we can rent it and have a sleepover tonight." She said as she started to back away.
"Oh no you don't." I said as I grabbed her by the arm, "You are going to stay here and talk with Nick."
"I do talk with Nick," she said as I dragged her back to the shop entrance.
"Talking math mumbo jumbo and stuff doesn't count." I said stopping in front of the shop just as Nick jogged out, "What do you think?" he asked, standing in front of me.
"Wow, I told you that would look good." I smiled. I had to admit, he was actually starting to look…well uh…hot.
He flashed one of those charming smiles before turning to Sabrina, "Ah, Sabrina right?" he asked with a smile.
She looked so happy he knew her name she could barely contain herself, "Yes! Yes! I'm Sabrina!" she smiled.
I couldn't help it but I started to laugh and they just looked at me like they never have seen anyone laugh.
"Sorry" I said, "it just sounded so funny of Sabrina".
"Yah, I see you in Math and I think it's History." Nick said to Sabrina, after thinking for a moment.
"Yes! I sit a row behind you in math and a row in front of you in history." She smiled.
Nick nodded, "Do you always know exactly where you sit from people?" he asked with a laugh.
"No, just you." She said. Then once she realized her face turned red.
"Well who can forget that big blonde head?" I smiled, looking at Nick.
Nick smiled, "Well it's nice talking to ya Sabrina, but I'm gonna see if I can drag Patricia to the mall." He said, looking back at me.
I rolled my eyes, "Whatever."
We started to walk away, I looked over my shoulder, "Hey, we're still on for tonight right?"
"Tonight?" she asked as she snapped out of thinking what a nice butt Nick has, "Yah, tonight. Slater."
I smiled before I continued walking down the sidewalk.
That weekend flew by like magic. Before I knew it, it was Monday, and oh what a Monday that was…
I walked into school with Rachel. I tried to avoid her but she caught onto me and started to talk about Susie Mason, one of the cheerleaders, scraped her knee while roller-skating over the weekend and she couldn't wear her short skirts anymore because of it. I looked away from her when I hear yelling down the hall. I looked down it and saw a large crowd of kids around Nick's locker, I ran away from Rachel in the middle of her sentence and pushed my way through the crowd, "So what you gonna do about it singing pretty boy?" Jimmy, the star player on the football team, and the guy who had asked me out countless times, even know he's a freshman in high school and I was only thirteen, stood there, almost yelling at Nick who was trying to get something out of his locker.
"Listen," Nick said calmly, turning to Jimmy, "I don't have to do anything about it Jimmy, it's none of your business."
"Lynn is my girlfriend," Jimmy said to Nick, even though she wasn't they had gone out maybe twice, "And I don't wanna hear anything more about you wanting to do out with her." He said, poking Nick in the chest.
Nick swiped his hand away and Jimmy started to get in his face, "You want to take this outside! Huh baby?"
"Stop it Jimmy!" I yelled as I ran into the circle Nick and Jimmy were fighting in, "Leave him alone!"
"Patty?" Jimmy asked, his voice calming down, "Why is a pretty girl like you standing up for this dork?" he asked, cupping my cheek in his hand.
I pushed it away, "Because he's not a dork and it's Patricia for you Jimmy"I yelled. None of these kids at this school are any better or any worse than you. We're all even and I'm sick of seeing you and everyone else treat them like mice."
Jimmy smiled at me, "You're always the princess." He said, pulling me closer to him and trying to kiss me.
"Stop! Get away!" I yelled, trying to push him away.
"Get off of her!" Nick yelled.
Jimmy let go of me and turned around to face Nick, I did the same and looked over at Nick, "And what are you going to do punk?" he asked, "You wanna fight?"
I looked at Nick, he looked around Jimmy at me, then back to Jimmy. He stared at him for a moment as if thinking, "No." he spoke up, "No. I don't need to fight you. It won't prove anything." He said before pushing his way past the crowd of people and starting down the hall.
"Oh yah?" Jimmy yelled after him, "And who told you that?"
"She did!" Nick yelled, pointing at me before turning away and continuing down the hall.
Jimmy turned back to me who was smiling as I watched Nick. Jimmy shook his head, "Why do you like him?"
"Because he's 'not cool'." I mocked them with a smile, "He's the cool one Jimmy. Not you."
Everyone in the crowd around us nodded and added, "Yah." As they started to walk away, pushing Jimmy as they did so. Rachel stood there, looking at me, "Sorry Rachel." I said as I walked past her, "But things are different now…"

Chapter 5

"So, what do you say Lynn?" I asked as I sat on the log by the beach, she sat down next to me and laughed, "Oh come on, seriously. Who really wants to ask me to the dance?"
"I am serious." I said looking over at her, "Nick Carter."
She started to crack up, "Patty! Stop! Seriously! Who?"
"Lynn! Stop laughing! I'm serious!" I yelled, hitting the tree trunk with the palm of my hands.
"You're kidding me right?" she asked, getting a serious look on her face.
"No, he really likes you Lynn and he's a really sweet guy." I said quietly.
She looked out over the beach and shook her head, "I couldn't go out with him Patricia. Ever. It's not my style to go out with guys like him."
"Why not?" I asked looking at her, "I mean, what does 'guys-like-him' mean? He's a normal, guy next door guy." I said with a shrug, feeling like my words made no sense. I finally figured out how to ask her for Nick, but all the words seem to come out all wrong.
"Picture it Patricia. Ok," she said looking at me, "I live in a huge house. Nick lives in a little thing across the street from a old timers place. I'm the most popular girl in school and he does nothing but chase after his dreams of a singing career that'll never happen."
I looked down at the sand under the tree trunk, "He's worthless." She ended.
I looked up at her and shook my head, "No." I said as I stood up and pointed my finger down at her, "He is not worthless." I said as my voice raised, "He's gonna make all of his dreams come true someday and all of you are going to feel like little rats compared to him. What is wrong with you people anyway? Why is chasing after your dreams so wrong all of a sudden? Why do you all hate him so much anyway? Because he lives in a small house and doesn't wear designers clothing like the rest of us. Why does that make him so bad?"
Lynn looked up at me with a shocked expression on her face thanks to my outburst, "I just don't get it anymore." I said quietly, "I'm sorry Lynn." I said as I started to walk away, "But I don't want to hang out with any of you anymore. You're no good for me." I said as I started to walk away towards my house…
The night of the school dance was here. Already. And I was busy pacing around my room. I still hadn't told Nick about what happened between Lynn and me last week. I kept thinking about how heartbroken he'd be as I listened to the sound of my metallic purple skirt make swishing sounds as I paced my bedroom. Lindsy stepped into the room, "You ok?" she asked, placing her hands on my bare shoulders thanks to my black tank top and looked into my eyes.
"I'm fine." I said quietly.
"You excited?" she asked with a smile, "Lynn said she's go out with Nick, right?"
"Hold on," I said closing my eyes for a moment, "one question at a time, please. First of all, no I'm not excited. I don't have a date, all the guys that have asked me out are all jerks. And second, no, Lynn didn't say she'd go out with Nick. She did nothing but laugh in my face." I sighed.
Lindsy looked at me shocked, "She said no? How could she say no! She probably broke his heart!"
"He doesn't know yet. I haven't told him." I said quietly, keeping contact with my sisters green eyes.
Her mouth dropped open, "Oh Patty!"
"I know, I know." I sighed as I plopped down on the bed.
She sat down next to me, "You wanted him to ask you, didn't you?" she asked calmly.
I looked over at her, "At first I didn't. But after awhile I realized how different he was from everyone else, all the other guys I knew, then I hoped he would. But he hasn't."
She smiled warmly as she rubbed her hand up and down my back, then Jordan stuck his head into my room, "Patricia, phone." He said.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"Nick." He said as he raised his eyebrows.
Lindsy looked at me and smiled, I raced out of my room and down the hall of our large beach house where I picked up the phone, "Hello?" I practically screamed into the phone.
"Whoa, hi Patricia." Nick said with a little laugh, "I got something big to tell you so please don't be mad."
"What?" I asked, hopeful he'd say he changed his mind about Lynn and he wanted to take me.
"Remember some time ago when I told you about those guys I sang with and a fifth member sang for the group last week at sea world?" he asked.
"I remember." I said slowly.
"Yah well, a guy named Louis J. Pearlman if flying us to New York, and we're leaving in a half hour for the airport. A record label wants us to perform for them as soon as possible and…"
"You're not coming to the dance." I said quietly.
Lindsy and Jordan were standing against the wall, looking at each other after watching me.
"Yah, I'm really sorry Patty. I know how much work you've put into me and everything." Nick said.
"No, no, a record deal is more important." I said with a casual laugh into the phone although I wanted to cry.
"Thanks! I knew you'd understand my sweet lady Patty!" he said with a smile in his voice, "Bye!" And with that, he hung up the phone. "My sweet lady??", I thought with butterfly's flying inside me.
I slowly put down the phone and looked over at my brother and sister, "He's not going." I said quietly.
"What's the little rats excuse?" Jordan, the over protective brother, asked.
"He's flying to New York for a record deal." I said as I walked into my room feeling more depressed than ever. Little did I know that would be the last time in a long time I would talk to Nick Carter…

Chapter 6

In the next two weeks my life was nothing but a huge nightmare. School was out for the summer, and no one but Sabrina would hang out with me. Not that I cared no one wanted to hang out with me, but it hurt knowing everyone hated my because I stood up for what I believed in. I didn't know how long Nick would be gone, he didn't call me once. Then I got the worst news,
"Patricia," my father said as he and the rest of my family sat around the dining room table, he took a deep breath, "we have to move to California."
"What?" Jordan, Lindsy, and myself yelled at the same time.
"I'm sorry kids, but we have to unless I'll lose my job. The company is relocating and they need my, I need my family, so we're all moving."
"But I can't leave Sabrina." I said looking over at my dad. That was the only reason I didn't want to leave.
"Baby, she can come visit us during the summers." My mom said, placing her hand on mine.
"When do we leave?" Jordan asked, still a little shook up about the news, but he was always very mature about handling things like that.
"Three days." My dad said with a deep sigh, "They need us there as soon as possible."
"Good. Now I'll have an excuse to quit working at the burger shack." Lindsy smiled.
I looked down at the table top, "It's ok baby, we'll be living by a beach still." My father said, patting my hand.
I looked up at him, "Oh yippee."
We left three days later as promised. As we drove by, I took a quick glance at Nick's house. Where was he? Was I ever going to see him again?
And Sabrina, oh God I had never seen her cry so much. Summers weren't going to be enough for best friends. My life was changing, and it sucked.

It was the summer before I left for college. It's funny how fast life flies by, and it's even funnier when things happen when you least expect it. Sabrina was visiting us in California for the summer. She was only eighteen while I had turned nineteen the fifth of may. But I must admit, Sabrina had changed a lot since our first year of Jr. High. She now had long, waist length hair that she had dyed blonde, she had gotten contacts, which is a good thing, those glasses did nothing but hide her sparkling blue eyes, she now had the body of a model and not some way-to-skinny frame, her braces had been taken off years before, and she just looked gorgeous.
This morning started off like any other morning. I crawled off the top bunk of my futon/bunk bed. Sabrina always slept on the futon on the bottom when she'd fly over from Florida for the summers to spend time with me and my family. And as usual, she wasn't there. I let out a sigh as I walked to the window after slipping on my Scooby Doo slippers. I stretched as I looked over the beautiful beach scenery, something I never got tired off.
Jordan, who had been off to college all year but came home for the summer even though it was only May, stuck his head in my room, "Hey girly! Rise and shine! I thought you were going to sleep through the new millennium." He laughed.
"Which one? The year or the new Backstreet Boys CD?" I laughed as I sat on my window ledge.
"The Backstreet Boys CD of course." He joked, "We can't miss that, can we?"
"Of course not." I smiled, "That little 'dork' turned into the heart throb Nick Carter and I bet everyone back in Florida is eating their hearts out!" I smiled. That was seriously the first thing I thought of every morning. The Backstreet Boys, that group Nick flew to New York to sing with, were unheard of in the states for many years. Until they released a second single, "Quit Playing Games with My Heart." And the Backstreet legacy began. I hadn't spoken to Nick since he told me he couldn't make it to the school dance. It's not like I was avoiding him or anything, but I moved before he could call. Not too long after I started my second year of Jr. High I tried calling his house but him and his family had moved, and we just lost all touch. And to say the least, Nick wasn't the dweeb he used to be, in fact, he broke hearts all over the world now with that smile I knew was a charmer from the beginning. And as soon as they're first single, which was a failure in the US came out, I knew Nick had reached his goal in every other country but home. But little did I know, it was all just beginning.
It was now 1999 and the boys second full length record in the US was due out in a little over three weeks and I had been following the boys career since their first CD release in Canada, Germany, Belgium, etc. But I never got to talk to him, see him (other than on TV) or touch him since he left for New York.
And I was sure he didn't want anything to do with me anymore, he was the big star now. Of course I cared, and for awhile I convinced myself of that, but hey, their music was slamming! I couldn't just stop listening to them because I thought Nick didn't care about the only person who stood up for him in high school anymore.
I shook myself out of thought, "So where's Sabrina?"
"Out with her friends." Jordan said rolling his eyes, "And she said she won't see yah till tomorrow. She said something about a late party."
Sabrina had made some friends in California after all those summer's she had spent with us. In fact, she spent little time at home with my family anymore. Either her and me would be out doing something together or she would be out with her other friends. Another thing that changed in my life over the years was I now had a four year old brother. Yep, so far born and raised in the sunny state of California.
"Well I'm gonna change, so out!" I laughed, pushing my brother out of my room.
"Jeesh, don't have to yell at me twice." He joked as he closed the door behind him.
I brushed my straight shoulder length chocolate brown hair and slipped on a pair of silver metallic shorts and a black tank top. I walked to my door and slipped on my platform black sandals. I walked back over to my dresser and put on a little make-up. I walked over to my door and looked over at my "Millennium" poster on the wall next to my door and ran my finger over Nick's face like I did every morning. I could see him saying it now, "Patricia Mcbright? Patricia Mcbright who?"
As I walked down the hall of our gorgeous beach home I heard the doorbell ring. I heard the laughter of my little brother as he ran to the door, I was almost done dialing the number to my friend Samantha's when my little brother yelled up the stairs, "Patricia!" his cute little voice screamed, "That guy from the Backtweet Boys is asking for you!"
I laughed, he's probably just joking. I smiled at how he couldn't pronounce the group's name if it cost him his life. I put down the phone in the upstairs hall and jogged down the stairs, when I reached the bottom, I picked up little Max and tickled him, "Oh come on! Really! Who's here?" I laughed as I looked over at the door.
And there he stood, Nick Carter. Tall, blonde, and gorgeous. Just standing there, smiling and holding a perfect red rose. He had on a backwards baseball hat and a white tank top on, showing off his now muscular arms, and a pair of baggy jeans.I almost dropped Max out of shock but managed to gently set him down on his feet, "Told you!" he laughed. I couldn't take my eyes off Nick. There was no way that was the same boy, but undeniably, it was.
"Hi Patricia." He smiled with his voice that had changed of course since the last time I heard him in person, but that little kid still rung out from inside him.
I slowly walked over to him, still in complete shock, and I poked him in the shoulder with my finger, "Believe me, I'm real." He laughed.
I smiled and looked up at him. Yes, up. He was now a good five inches taller than me who was 5'8". I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him, almost squishing the perfect rose in his hands, he laughed and wrapped his arms around my waist as he picked me up and spun me around, "I can't believe it's really you." I smiled as he put me down and handed me the rose.
He laughed, "Yah, it has been awhile."
I looked up at him from the rose, "I've been uh---looking for you for a long time. A couple years now." He said quietly, "I've missed you and I've felt horrible never calling you from New York. I was just…"
"Really excited." I smiled.
He nodded his head, "Yah."
I smiled, "It's been really hard to find you. I've searched every state, every country, and now I've finally found you." He smiled, "And I just want to thank you for everything you've done. You're one of the reasons I am what I am today."
"That's not true." I said, shaking my head, "You always had it in you."
"Yah, but you helped pull it out."
I smiled as I lightly shook my head, still unable to believe it was him, he was there, in front of me. I had formed a huge crush on him while I was helping him back in jr. high and that crush developed into an even bigger crush as time wore on, and now I was staring right at him…
Late that night Nick and me sat on the dock at the back of my house. We had taken off our shoes and hung our feet over the water that the moonbeams shone off of perfectly. All day Nick and myself just hung out around the Los Angeles area. We had to be careful though cause he was so easily spotted by fans. But now it was late, I was tired, and he was even more tired, I was lying back on the wooden dock with my feet still over the water, but Nick was still sitting, looking up at the night sky.
"I thought you had forgotten about me." I suddenly said, breaking the tired silence.
Nick looked down at me, "No way, I could never forget you, my sweet lady Patty" Again I got those butterfly's in me like the first time he called me that six years ago.
I sat up next to him, "Well I mean, you're such a big star now. No, big isn't the word. It's more like HUGE. And I didn't think there was room in your mind for me."
"What are you talking about?" Nick asked surprised turning to me, "In high school, you seemed like you were the hugest star in all Florida to a thirteen, non puberty kid like me. But you paid attention to me and you cared. I could never forget that."
I smiled as I looked down at the water, "Life as a Backstreet Boy cool?" I asked.
Nick nodded his head, "It's my dream come true. Screaming girls that follow me everywhere I go. I couldn't ask for more. It's such a blast!" he said with a huge smile, "I'm in a tour bus with the other four guys all the time and it's so cramped! It's so easy to play pranks and stuff on them!" he said with a little laugh.
I laughed as I laid back down, "It's so you. Now I'm sure of it."
He smiled, "Was there any doubt?" he asked.
"Yah." I smiled, "You're a six foot, big buff beautiful guy now, then you were a little shrimp with a hair flip."
Nick smiled, "You don't expect everyone to be the same forever, do you?"
I looked up at the moon, "No. I guess not."
"Well you've changed a lot too." He said looking down at me.
I looked up at him, "Oh yah, how?"
"Well," Nick said looking out over the water, "You've filled out, you've gotten taller, your hair is darker, and your skin is even more perfect then it was in Jr. high."
"Wait." I said as I sat up, "What was the first thing you said?"
"You've gotten taller?" Nick asked, making a funny face.
"No you didn't!" I laughed as I hit him in the shoulder, "You said I've filled out! That would be like me telling you you've gotten longer!"
"Well I have." Nick said with a cheesy smile, "Not like you ever knew anyway. But I did not say you've filled out!" Nick said, replacing his look of innocence with a look of shock and hurt, "I am hurt that you would think I would really say that." He said with a laugh, placing his hand up to his chest.
I laughed as I shook my head, "I take it back, you still are a dork." I said as I laid back down.
"Hey," Nick said with a shriek, "you always told me I was never a dweeb or a dork, or anything like that." He said looking down at me.
"Well take back everything I ever said!" I laughed.
"Fine. Then I take my comment back. Your chest hasn't filled out." He said, crossing his arms over his chest.
I sat up, looking into his eyes, and shaking my head, "Liar. You're just saying that because I called you a dork."
"Uh." Nick yelled, dropping his arms from his chest, "You're not happy when I tell you you've filled out and you're not happy when I take it back! What do you want from me!?"
I laughed, "I want you to change the subject."
"Not until you apologize for calling me a dork." He said stubbornly.
"No, I'm not going to apologize until you apologize." I said back.
"What do I have to apologize for!" he laughed, throwing his arms in the air, "You actually fill your bra now! I'm just pointing out the obvious!"
I laughed as I covered my chest with my arms, "You shouldn't have been looking anyway."
"I'm a guy! I look!" he laughed.
I dropped my arms from my chest, "Yah well I'm going to have to make sure I wear baggy clothes when I'm around you from now on." I laughed.
"So am I." He smiled.
"You're already wearing baggy clothes." I said, pointing down at his jeans. He quickly turned away, "Don't look at me there!" he joked.
"What? Is there a little something even the baggiest of jeans can't hide." I laughed.
He pulled his legs out of the water and sat indian style, "Shut up." He smiled.
I laughed, "Ok, ok, I'm sorry. You're not a dork." I said rolling my eyes.
"Fine. And I'm sorry for whatever I did. Even though I was telling the truth." He said, pointing a finger at me.
"Yah well so was I." I laughed.
Nick was about to open his mouth in protest when I cut him off, "Anyway! Changing the subject! Changed. So are you still single or does Mr. Carter have a potential Mrs. Carter?" I asked.
Nick laughed, "Oh you haven't heard? I've been married twice."
I smiled and rolled my eyes, "Cheesy. Anyway, tell the truth."
Nick smiled, "I had a girlfriend named Mandy not too long ago. Just a couple months ago seriously. But as it ends up she was just like all those girls at school, she was sweet and everything, but she thought she was better than everyone."
"Was she a model?" I asked.
"A model?" Nick asked, almost surprised, "Nah, she was a singer, like me."
"Oh." I said as I laid back down and looked up at the sky.
"Why did you ask me that?" he asked, propping himself up on one arm and hovered over me.
"I dunno." I shrugged as I looked up at him, "I think maybe because I picture you having a model on your arm as you go to the Grammy's or something. Someone who would make Cindy Crawford's husband jealous." I said with a laugh.
Nick smiled, "Soooo you're saying I should be dating you."
I looked at him and laugh, "Not…quite." I said slowly.
Nick smiled, "Yah, well I think that's what you're saying."
I sat up and pushed him away, "No. I'm not."
Nick smiled as he sat back indian style, "So, you doing anything tomorrow?"
"Nah, the life of a beach bum is pretty uh…bummy." I laughed.
Nick laughed, "Well cause me and the other guys have a video shoot for the new single off the new CD tomorrow and I wanted to know if you wanted to come."
"No way? Me at a BSB video shoot! What song is it for? 'I Want It That Way'?" I asked excitedly.
"Hey calm down." He laughed, "Yah, you're right. How did you know?"
"I'm a big Backstreet fan. I follow this stuff." I smiled, "But I can really come!?"
"Yes, you can." Nick laughed, "It's at the LA airport. Do you want me to pick you up?"
"Nah, I don't know if my parents need me for baby sitting or anything in the morning, so I don't know what time I'll be able to come. I'll just drive over there. It's only about a hour drive if even." I shrugged.
"Well you'll need a pass." He said as he reached in his back pocket, "You can have mine to get in with." He said handing me a laminated pass.
"Won't you need it?" I asked.
"Nah, they gotta let me in. I'm in the video." He laughed.
I smiled as I looked down at the 'Staff' pass, "Listen," Nick said as I quickly looked up at him, "I better get back to the hotel. I told the guys I'd be gone for an hour and I've been with you for eleven." He smiled as he stood up, "I'll see you tomorrow." He said as he leaned down and kissed my cheek. Something he hadn't done in six years.
I smiled, "Bye."
I watched him as he picked up his shoes and jogged through the sand to my house where his car was parked in the driveway, I laid back down on the dock once he was out of sight and let out a sigh, "Well, all of my dreams have come true too." I said to myself, "Well…almost all of them…"

Chapter 8

"Oh my God Patricia, do you think they'll let me in?" Sabrina asked as she jumped up and down next to me as I crawled out of my forest green convertible.
"I don't see why not." I shrugged as I stood up next to her in the parking lot of the LA airport. The parking lot alone was filled with make-up trailers and cars of the crew of the video. I straightened out my khakis leg and made a little pose for Sabrina, "How do I look?" I joked, trying to loosen her up, she seemed so nervous. She looked away from the airport and looked over at me, I was wearing an olive green tank top and my tan khakis pants. My hair was pulled up in a claw clip. She shrugged, "You look good. You always look good." She said rolling her eyes.
"You don't look too shabby yourself this fine morning." I laughed as I started towards the airport. Jeesh, if Nick thought I'd filled out, he'd be shocked at Sabrina. She was wearing a tight, tight pink baby doll shirt with a pair of flare jeans and a pair of 'spice girl' shoes.
As we approached the door my heart started to race at the size of the guards who were keeping the psycho fans like myself at bay. I pushed through the crowd of girls to the door, holding Sabrina's hand tightly in mine so we wouldn't get separated, I stopped at one of the guards, "Excuse me!" I yelled over the screaming and crying girls, "I need to get in please."
The guard rolled his eyes, "Sorry sweetie, but I can't let you in."
"But Nick Carter is expecting me." I said loudly.
"Oh yah right." He laughed, "As if ever other girl here hasn't told me that."
"Wait, hold up Taylor." One of the other guards said, "Are you Patricia Mcbright?" he asked.
I looked at him, "Yah, I am."
"Yah Taylor. Nick told me he was waiting for her." The other guard said looking at the other.
"Well anyone could have said that. I need proof." Taylor said. I sighed and pulled out my driver's license along with the pass Nick gave me the night before.
Taylor studied the pass closely, "Yah, it checks." He said, handing it back to me, "Go ahead."
I smiled at Sabrina and pulled her through with me, surprisingly enough, they didn't stop me from taking her. Once we were past the guards. The north airport entrance was empty except for a few make up artists and crewmembers running around. I assumed they have already filmed the first scene, so I had no clue where the boys would be now. I stopped on one of the crew members, "Hi, can you tell me where the boys are?" I asked.
"Yes ma'am," he smiled, "they are outside by the cleared out area. You can't miss it, there's a big jet that says Backstreet Boys on the side. Hanger one."
I smiled as I bit my bottom lip, "Thank you."
"You're welcome." He nodded before jogging away. I could tell Sabrina wanted to scream she was so excited, but she contained herself and just jumped up and down.
Soon enough we found the plane. And wow, what a cool plane. We stepped under it just to find a bunch of people and cameras a good distance away. Sabrina and me walked the small distance and as we approached, we spotted Nick wearing a black jacket and a pair of gray slacks. He was laughing with the make up artist as she touched up his make up for the scene. I smiled at how great he looked when I was interrupted by Sabrina squeezing the life out of my arm, "Ow! Get off me!" I laughed as I smacked her hands.
She kept her eyes locked on Nick, "He looks so amazing." She murmured.
I looked back over at him and it almost felt like everything moved in slow motion. The clothes he wore, the gleam in his eyes, the way his mouth creased perfectly when he smiled. I shook my head, clearing my thoughts and looked over at Sabrina, "Well come on. Let's go." I said as I started to walk towards him.
About forty feet away Nick looked over at me then back at the make up artist. He took another take at me and realizing it was me, ran over to me and wrapped his arms around me, "Hey! You're here!" he smiled as he squeezed me.
"Yes I'm here!" I smiled. Ah! I wanted to lay a big ol' kiss on him there and then, but I knew I couldn't.
"Nick, do you remember Sabr---" I started, but then realized he was looking at her with his mouth hanging open.
I looked at him strangely, I was extremely jealous, "Nick." I said as I tapped his shoulder. Sabrina gave me a glare of evil, "Oh uh, sorry Patricia." He said, looking at me after shaking his head.
I cracked a fake smile, "Is this Sabrina? Cute little Sabrina with the red hair and glasses?" he asked with a smile as he shook her hand.
"It is." She smiled as she shook it back.
Nick looked mesmerized as he shook her hand, "God, just stare at her chest, you know you want to." I mumbled as I turned away.
"What was that Patricia?" I heard Nick ask quietly. I spun around, hoping he'd be looking at me. But he was still smiling at Sabrina and she was loving being in the gaze of his perfect blue eyes.
"Nothing." I smiled. But in the outside I felt a piece of myself being taken away.
"Nick, we gotta start the shoot." A familiar face said as he jogged over to Nick. Nick shook his head as if clearing his thoughts and turned to his friend, "Oh, Brian. This is Patricia. She was the only nice person to me in Jr. High." He said as he put his arm over Brian's shoulder and pointed to me, "Hi Pat---" Brian smiled as he put out his hand for me to shake with his childish smile. I was in heaven! It was Brian of the Backstreet Boys! But before his hand could touch mine, Nick continued, "And this is Sabrina, she was cool to me in school too. And now…uh. Wow." He smiled as he looked back at Sabrina.
I bit my bottom lip as Brian turned away from me and shook Sabrina's hand, "Hi Sabrina." He smiled.
I looked down at the ground, feeling as if all of a sudden I was invisible. But I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, I spun around and was greeted to a man in all black and a hat, "Hi, you must be Patricia?" AJ McLean asked as he reached out his hand for me to shake. I smiled, 'oh my God, another Backstreet Boy!' I thought to myself as I shook his hand, "Yah, I'm Patricia but you can say Patty. AJ, right?" I asked even though I knew the truth.
"Yup." AJ smiled as he looked over my shoulder at Nick, Brian, and Sabrina who were all laughing about something, "Nick…uh…looks a little preoccupied." He said looking back at me, "You know her?"
"Yah, she's uh…my best friend." I said with a fake smile.
"Hmm, Nick looks like he fancies her." He said in his best fake English accent.
I looked back at them and back at AJ, "Yah, I guess he does." I almost whispered.
AJ noticed the drastic change in my voice and placed his hand on my chin, I looked up at him and he smiled, "But uh…he hasn't shut up about you all morning, calling you his sweet lady Patty."
"Yah well, that was before he saw Sabrina." I sighed.
AJ smiled kindly at me as a man came up behind him, "Come on AJ, get Nick and B-rok. We got a video to shoot!" he said before jogging away.
"Uh." He sighed, "It was nice meeting you Patty." He said as he wrapped his arm over my shoulder, "Just go with the flow on this one." He said as he gave me a quick squeeze before jogging to the small three some.
Wow. He really was as nice as he seemed on TV.
Without even a word, I watched Nick and Brian walk off to the jet they would be shooting part of the video in front of. I couldn't take my eyes off Nick. He was laughing as he lightly threw his head back, Sabrina ran over to me and took me by my shoulders, "Ohmigosh Patty! He's finally paying attention to me!" she screamed as she jumped up and down.
"Yah Sabrina," I smiled, "That's great…"
A couple people brought me and Sabrina chairs to watch the boys shoot from. Off to the sidelines, we could see all the boys as they sang their part in front of the camera and just wondered around the background as another sang his solo. I watched Nick the whole time with my head gently tilted to the side. He looked as serious as he could as someone else sang, I wasn't paying any attention to them anyway. Nick ran his hand over and down his neck as he walked around behind the guys. He looked over at Sabrina and me for a moment and flashed us his trademark smirk. I smiled back even though he probably wasn't looking at me.
I crossed my legs as I continues watching them. This wasn't fare. I worked my butt of for him six years ago and just because Sabrina has bigger chests then me, Nick takes one look and falls in love. And that thought just continued running through my mind…

After the scene in front of the jet was over a good hour and a half later we were mingling with other Backstreet Boy fans that would be in the video. They had 'Nick' or 'Kevin' or one of the other Backstreet Boy names painted on some of their faces as they jumped up and down with each other, waiting for the boys so show up. I had no clue where they were, but I sat on the steps of one of the trailers that was off to the sidelines and out of the view of the camera. I had my legs pulled up to my chest and my chin resting on my knees as I watched Sabrina talk with some other girls about how sweet and hot Nick was. I took in a deep breath before I felt someone plop down next to me on the steps, I quickly looked over and saw Brian looking out over the spread of a hundred fans, "Jeesh, it's pretty crazy, isn't it?" he asked, turning his head to look at me.
I looked away from him and back over the fans, "Yep," I said with a sigh, "it is."
He smiled, "So you know, I wasn't trying to avoid you today. I mean, Nick wouldn't let me talk to you after he introduced me to Sabrina. He put his arm over my shoulder and wouldn't let me go. I wanted to talk with you, but he just wouldn't let me. I don't think he meant to though."
I nodded my head, "It's alright. Sabrina is a pretty mesmerizing girl. I don't blame him for ignoring me while she's around."
Brian looked sympathetic, "Nick likes you. He does."
"Oh of course, he says I'm one of his best friends. But he doesn't like me the same way he likes Sabrina." I said, continuing looking over the fans.
"Do you want him to like you that way?" he asked.
I smiled, "Yah. I have for a long time." I looked back over at him, "At first when I started getting to know him, I just thought he was a sweet guy. Then after awhile he showed me how different he really is from everyone else, then I just wanted him. But that was six years ago. I guess he doesn't see me as the prettiest girl in Jr. high anymore."
"Oh I'm sure he does." Brian said as he looked over at Nick and Howie who were playing around with a couple of fans, "He would always talk about that girl in school who always stuck up for him. His sweet lady Patty. He always rambled on about how cute you were."
"Yah, key word, were. He looks at me as a friend now." I sighed.
"Is that bad?" Brian asked, looking back at me.
"It is when you want more." I said quietly, looking down at my hands.
"Come on B-rok." Kevin said as he ran over to his cousin, "Lets go, we gotta start wrapping this thing up."
Brian stood up as Kevin walked back to the mass of fans, "I'll talk to you later." He said as he placed his hand on my chin, "Maybe if you want things to be more you should tell him. See what he thinks." He said before turning and walking away…
As the sun set I stood at the water table where there was bottled water and fruit for the group and the crew while they did the video. I was picking up a bottle of water when someone walked to the table and stood next to me. I looked down at the shoes first then traveled up the body, I saw the black jacket and then those blue eyes that hovered some distance above me, "Hi." Nick said, "We need to talk." He said as he took my arm and started to pull me away from the table.
"Why? What?" I asked as he pulled me outside where I could see the peach sky with the pink and purple clouds hovering above. Nick stopped walking and turned to me, "I want to know why you've been avoiding me all day." He finally spoke up.
"What?" I started, "I have not been avoiding you! Ever since I got here you've barely said one word to me!" I yelled.
He shook his head, "Nu uh, not true."
"Yes it is." I said as I pointed my finger at him, "I'm good enough for you when you need something from me but when Sabrina caught your eye you just kind of ignored me." I said as I felt a lump in my throat. I wasn't going to cry in front of Nick. Then he would know right away what I felt for him, "And it's not fare." I said quietly as I felt tears rim my eyes.
Nick's facial expressions softened and he raised his hand and tried to touch my shoulder but I stepped away, "Patricia…Patty are you crying?" he asked quietly.
"No I'm not crying." I said as I started to walk away, wiping the tears from my eyes as I went.
I heard Nick's quick footsteps behind me, "Patty, where are you going?"
"I don't know. Home I guess." I said without looking at him even though I knew he was walking quickly right next to me. He made a quick maneuver and stood in front of me, I almost rammed into his chest but caught myself in time, "Are you jealous?" he asked, looking down at me.
I looked into his eyes, "That is the one thing you don't ask someone when they're mad Nick!" I said loudly before walking around him.
He started after me again, "Well answer me. Are you?"
"No, I'm not jealous Nick." I said quietly.
Nick grabbed my arm and stopped me, "Alright, just stop ok. Now tell me what's happening."
I was quiet for a moment, "I had a crush on you when we were in Jr. high Nick. I wanted you to ask me to the dance, you didn't, you left and that was the last time I heard from you. I was hoping maybe now you would look at me and realize you should have asked me in the first place and…"
"Patty," Nick laughed, "that was six years ago!"
"I know it was six years ago Nick! But I never once woke up with you not on my mind! I was hoping, maybe, you would feel the same way." I said as I looked up at him, "But now I know I'm wrong and it's just going to take a little while to set in." I said as I pulled my arm away from him, "Go back to Sabrina and finish undressing her with your eyes." I said as I started to walk away with Nick's eyes on me the whole time as he just stood there, "Oh and bring here home when you're done…"
Late that night I was home alone. My parents left with the rest of the family on a family night thing before I got back. It was eleven o'clock and I was sitting on the couch watching TV. I had all the windows on the house open. I loved the smell of the beach in spring. A soft wind blew althrough out the house.
From the window behind the couch I saw car headlights pull into the driveway and reflect off the wall the TV was against, "About time they got home." I sighed as I changed the channel. A soft knock came on the door, "Don't you have your own key mom?" I yelled.
It came again. The same knock. I sighed and stood up from the couch. I entered the entryway of the house and pulled open the door. There stood Nick, alone. I sighed and slammed the door in his face before walking to the livingroom.
"Patricia." Nick sighed as he opened the door and walked into the house.
I plopped down on the couch, "I never said you could come in." I mumbled.
Nick walked into the livingroom with his hands in the back pocket of his jeans, "Where's Sabrina?" I asked, not looking in his direction.
"A friend. She told me to drop her off there." He said quietly.
"Where?" I asked blandly.
"Cindy's. Or something like that." He said as he leaned against the doorframe.
I looked up from the TV, "And you're here…why?"
"Come on Patricia." Nick said, "Be serious! We're friends."
"Nick. I just need to be away from you and think for awhile. As stupid as this sounds but I need to talk myself into letting you go. Giving up." I said as I turned off the TV and set the remote next to me on the couch.
Just then did I realize how dark the room was. No light was on. The only light was that of the moon shimmering thought the windows.
"Well what if I don't want to be let go?" he asked.
I almost forgot he was there, I looked in his direction, "I don't know. It would be your problem then."
Nick walked over and sat down on the couch. He folded his hands and stared off into space, "Why didn't you ever tell me about any of this?" he asked, looking over at me.
"I don't know." I sighed, "I was little. I just, didn't care at the time. I liked admiring you from a distance."
Nick looked at his hands, "Patricia," he said quietly before taking a deep breath, "I have a girlfriend."
I looked over at him, the livingroom was still so dark, he just threw that out like it was nothing and it hit me in the face like a baseball bat, "You---you do?" I asked, "Wait. Last night you told me you didn't and you broke up with her…Mandy or something.
He sighed, "I lied. I thought it was what you wanted to hear, every girl does."
"So you really do have one?" I asked quietly.
He nodded, "Yah, she lives in Florida. I thought you knew, I mean it's all over the net and stuff. Of course if everything on the net was true I'd be dating a hundred different girls… And to be really honest, things aren't going so well between me and Mandy at the moment, that's were I realised I missed a friend like you and since we were in the neibourhood I thought to visit you. I really missed you Patty and.... ya know I had a crush on you back then but I realised that when I left for New York, and I never got the chance to tell you of my crush and then I met Mandy, a friend of my sister. I forgot my crush on you but I never forgot you, NEVER!!!!"
My mouth was open ever so slightly as I let his words sink in, "Does Sabrina know?" I asked.
"Yah, I told her earlier."
I took in a deep breath and looked down at my legs, "Well uh---wow."
"I'm sorry." He said, looking at me, "I didn't mean to ever hurt…"
"No." I said, putting my hand up to stop him, "No, it's my fault. It is."
Nick looked down at the floor, "I'm flattered you have a crush on me. I am. Since I had one too on you and if I'm not careful, I think I'll have another crush on you again, but there is Mandy....
Did anything? What, where we thirteen again? "Yah." I said quietly.
"If it makes you feel any better. I thought you were pretty when we were in Jr. high." He said, looking away from the floor and at me, "But now I think you're beautiful." He smiled as he kissed my cheek.
"But not as beautiful as Mandy. Her name is Mandy, right?" I asked as I stood up.
Nick also stood up and looked into my eyes, "Patricia, are you mad at me?"
I slowly shook my head, keeping my eyes fixed on Nick the whole time, "Mad? No no! I'm not mad! I only gave six and half years of my life to you without you even knowing it! I kept praying and hoping for a day sometime soon where I could tell you how I felt and in my little fairy tale world inside my head I somehow thought maybe you'd feel the same way." I said as tears began to rim my eyes, "And as time wore on I started telling myself my life was not a fairy tale. But I still had this small glimmer of hope that I was lying to myself and I held onto that glimmer with everything I had inside me."
Nick continued looking at me with no certain expression on his face.
I tightly closed my eyes, letting a tear slide down my cheek as I tried to regain my composer, "Listen, maybe you should leave for now." I said quietly as I reopened my eyes.
Nick stuffed his hands into his pockets as he looked down at the floor, apparently thinking about what I had just said, he ran his tongue over his lips as he thought, "Yah, um, if that's what you want." He said before looking back up at me. His eyes almost making a pathway of light through the darkness.
I walked with him to the door with my arms folded over my chest, he opened the glass door and stood there for a moment with it standing open, he looked over at me and leaned over where he gently kissed my forehead, "I'm sorry." He whispered before walking out the door and closing it behind him.
I stepped over to the tall slender window next to the door and gently moved away the thin white curtain, I watched as Nick slid into his rent-a-car convertible and quickly sped off down the street. I let the curtain gently fall back into place before slipping down onto the floor with my back against the wall and my knees pulled up to my chest, I started to cry again as I ran my hands though my hair, "I'm sorry too." I whispered.

Chapter 10

I had only been crying for a few more minutes until I heard a loud knock on the door. I jumped quickly to my feet, the knock scaring my almost half to death. I quickly pulled the door open and it revealed my best friend Samantha, or who I called, Sam. She was holding a pillow and a folded blanket in her arms with an apparently heavy backpack on her back, "Sam?" I asked as I wiped the tears away.
Sam pushed her way into the entry way of the house and dropped her stuff on the floor, she stood up straight, blowing some of her dark curly hair out of her eyes, "You do remember I'm staying the night, right?" she asked, looking at me.
I looked down at her stuff then up at her, "Remember?" she asked impatiently, "I was babysitting your neighbors so you said I could stay here tonight since they needed me till midnight?"
It all ran back into my head. That was one thing Nick always did to me, he sort of erased everything else in my mind when I looked at him, "Oh yah, sorry Sam." I said, managing a really lame smile.
She placed her hands on her hips as she looked around the room after staring intently at me, "You've been crying again." She said as she looked back at me, "And uh, why are all the lights off?"
"Long story so don't ask." I said as I walked past her and into the large livingroom.
"Girl, you've got to stop crying over Nick." She said as she followed me through the livingroom, through the kitchen, and out the backdoor that showed off the gorgeous beach, "I mean, chances are you're never going to see him again, I mean, he hasn't contacted you in six years. This time sweetie, Backstreet ain't comin back." She said as she sat down next to me on the porch swing.
I wrapped my arms around my knees that I had pulled up to my chin as I watched the waves as they gently crashed onto the sandy shoreline. The silver moon was sparkling from above along with the tiny stars, "Yah well Sam, guess what?" I said as I looked over at her.
"Huh?" she asked as she pulled her knees up to her chin like me and looked up at the sky.
"Backstreet's Back!" I said with a fake yet cheesy smile before looking back at the ocean.
She quickly looked over at me, "What you talkin about Patricia?" she asked in her best Gary Coleman impression.
"I'm talking that Nick Carter came to my house yesterday." I said simply.
"Ohmigosh!" she smiled, "That means you're not going to cry over how he's breaking your heart because he's not around right?"
I smiled slightly, she was the only one I ever told all my thoughts about Nick to. The only one I ever told how much I really, truly loved him, "Remember when I told you a few years ago how me and Sabrina would always talk about our knights in shining armor riding white horses would someday come and sweep me and Sabrina off our feet and take us to their castles far away." I said with a small gleam in my eye as I looked up at the sky.
Sam smiled, "Yah. And you always told me you imagined your knight to be Nick. You always said you could see him with his cute smile and the wind gently blowing in his hair." She smiled as she played with the end of her sandals, "You always wanted to be his princess."
"Yah. But uh, he's already got his own princess." I said quietly.
Sam looked over at me with a disappointed look on her face, "You mean you two didn't make mad passionate love on the beach lastnight?"
I couldn't help but laugh, she always did that to me, "No." I said quietly, "We didn't. I wanted to and I was one hundred percent ready. But we didn't."
Sam reached over and put her arm over my shoulder, "I'm sorry." She said as she looked over at me, "I know how much you cared about him."
I nodded my head, I jokingly laid my head on her shoulder, "Why! Why can't my life be a fairy tale!?" I whined.
She laughed as I lifted my head off her shoulder, "Like Nick's girlfriend?" she asked.
"Like Nick's girlfriend." I nodded, "But I bet you to her, he's just a normal guy that kinda runs into you at the mall and asks you out. She probably doesn't think of him as more than a little boyfriend."
Sam was quite for a moment, "You never know." She said quietly.
We were both silent for a moment before we heard a sound of footsteps running around the house, someone ran in front of the back deck and I quickly stood up, the person was breathing heavily, "Nick?" I asked, squinting, trying my hardest to see him in the dark.
"Patricia, listen." He said as he climbed the stairs and walk over to me where he took my hands, "I don't want this to tear us apart. I love you and you know it. Don't let us fall apart. I don't want to go back to the hotel with you mad at me."
Sam cleared her throat, Nick looked over at her and quickly pulled away from me, "Uh…hi."
"Hi." She said with a huge smile and a little wave.
I shook my head and turned towards the house, "Patricia," Nick said as he took a quick step towards me, "Patricia, you can't be mad at me for having a girlfriend. I had no clue how you felt for me."
I looked over Nick's shoulder and at Sam, "Nick, not now ok, just leave me alone for a little while." I said , gave him a quick kiss on his cheek as I ran into the house.
Sam and Nick stood silently out on the deck, Nick just staring at the door and Sam stared at Nick, "You really broke her heart. She really loves you." She said as she walked past him to the door.
"Wait." Nick said quickly as he grabbed her shoulder, "She loves me? She never told me that she loves me. Ahh man, I really don't wanna hurt her but I proberly already have, damn."
" Sorry Nicko, but I think you've lost out on the best thing you ever could have had." Sam said as she looked at him before stepping into the house, and closing the door behind her… "I do love you too, my sweet lady." Nick wispered ! Nick sighed, left the house as he whiped of some tears of his face…knowing he hurted someone he loves.

Chapter 11

Later that night my parents called and said they wouldn't be home that night. They had dropped my sibs off at friend's houses and my parents were just going to have a night alone. Sam fell to sleep early on the couch while we watched some lame ass movie she had rented. I stood out of the soft padded beanbag I had on the floor and flicked off the TV, leaving my in almost darkness. I stepped over to the window and looked out. I saw the bright moon; the silver stars that shimmered in the darkness and I felt my heart rip into two. I wasn't mad at Nick. I wasn't. It wasn't his fault I never told him how I felt. But this way, with anger, was the only way I could show how much it hurt me. How much it really broke my heart. I hated shutting Nick out of my life and heart but it hurt too much to be around him and know that he couldn't be mine. And that was the only thing I wanted, was for him to need me as much as I needed him. That was all I asked. I sat on the window seat with my eyes still staring directly above, I slowly fell into a soft sleep, with the thought of Nick plaguing my mind…
I woke up the next morning early. Sam was already up of course, she was always up early. She always reminded me that I slept in. I don't know it bothered her, sometimes I just wanted her to shut up. I crawled off the window seat and walked into the kitchen as I yawned and stretched my arms, "Yo freak." Sam laughed without looking away from the toaster as she waited for her pop tarts to pop up, "You're up early."
"I couldn't sleep." I said as I plopped down in the chair.
Sam looked away from the toaster and looked at me for a moment before sitting across from me at the kitchen table, "Jeesh, it's Nick's fault, isn't it?" she asked, "You know you think about him WAY too much." She said in an over tired tone as she rolled her eyes, "I mean, there's other guys out their Patricia, just dump him out of your mind and find someone else that needs. There are so many guys out there that would kill for the chance Nick's given up."
I looked at her and let out a sigh, "I know." I mumbled.
She cracked a smile, "You really do love him, huh? I mean, I always thought it was a crush thing, but you're serious?"
I looked up at her and nodded, "Yah, I am."
She slowly nodded her head, "It's gotta hurt, huh?"
"Yah, it does." I said as I held back the tears, "I just…want to hold him. Forever. And it's not possible."
Sam jumped a little as her pop tart popped up, she walked to the toaster and pulled out the pop tarts letting out a small "Hot!" as she threw them on the plate. She walked back to the table and sat down, "I got it." She said seriously, "The thing to solve all your problems."
"What's that?" I asked sarcastically, knowing what she was going to say would be a joke.
"Kill her." She said with a smirk, "What's her name, Mandy? How many Mandy's are there in Florida? How many Mandy's are there in the world period? She should be easy to find."
I shook my head with a small laugh as I stood up, "Not funny Sam, don't joke about stuff like that."
"Where you going?" she asked as I walked to the stairs.
"To get dressed."
"Oh, well I gotta get home. I'll see you later. Cool?" she yelled.
"Cool. Later…"
It was one o'clock and no one was home yet. But my lonesome self. I sat on the stairs to my porch on the front and stared up at the perfect blue sky with a couple lazy clouds floating along. I was busy in though when a voice made me look down, "Hey." It said softly.
I saw Nick, leaning against his car and his arms folded over his chest, "Hey." I murmured. God he looked good.
"How ya doing?" he asked as he walked away from his car and up my sidewalk.
"Fine." I said quietly as I closed my eyes for a moment.
He nodded, "Can I sit down?"
"Go ahead." I said, looking away as I felt him sit next to me and his shoulder touching mine.
"Patricia…" he started.
"Nick," I said as I looked back at him, "Ok, I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you. Ok. This is the only way I can act, alright. My hearts kinda messed up right now."
"I'm sorry." He said, looking down at his sneakers.
"Don't be." I said quietly.
"Well I've been thinking," he said, looking up at me, "will you stay with me tonight?"
I stared at him in shock for a moment, God he was so close to me and I could smell his cologne, "Nick…I…" I started, then managed to pull myself away from his stare, "No. No. It wouldn't be right." I said, closing my eyes and gently shaking my head. It took a lot for me to say it, but I did.
"Well I need to know how I feel. And I think this is the only way to do it. Don't you think?" he asked.
I looked back at him, getting myself helplessly locked in his gaze again, "I don't know." I whispered.
By the look of his eyes I could tell he was thinking as he looked into mine, he ran his tongue over his lips and took a deep breath, "Well, here goes nothing." He said convincingly outloud but to himself as he leaned over the inch separating us and kissed me softly on my lips. I didn't know what was happening but I managed to gently kiss back. He pulled back and stared at me for a moment, he placed his hand on my face and ran his thumb over my cheek, "Please. Just for tonight." He said quietly.
I stared into his eyes for a moment. I wanted him so bad. But I knew I was tearing him apart thinking about me, and then Mandy. I didn't want him giving up the girl he loved for a chance at romance with me, "No." I said shaking my head as tears welded in my eyes.
Nick head shook ever so slightly, "No. I want you to. We don't need to make love or anything. I just want to be able to hold you tonight. Please. I really want to know how my feelings are."
Ah! Why was he doing this to me!? I was only trying to do the right thing and all he did was make it harder, "Please?" he asked again but this time with a soft kiss, pushing me over the edge.
"Fine." I said a little bit louder, "But if something happens, I don't know what, but if it happens, it is not my fault. You hear me Nick Carter?" I asked.
He nodded his head with a small smirk, "Understand Patricia Mcbright!"
I nodded my head, "I bet you do."
He smiled lightly, "Uh, I better go. I'll pick you up tonight. Ok?"
"Yah." I said quietly.
Nick stood up and started to leave when I grabbed the sleeve of his shirt, he looked down at me, "What would Mandy think?" I asked.
He stared down at me, "I don't know." He said. "Look, I love Mandy and I love you, I have to figure it out ok?"
I let go of his sleeve and he leaned down at kissed my forehead, "I won't think about that tonight if you won't." he whispered.
Why was he doing this to me? "Ok." I whispered back.
He smiled as he jogged away.
I let out a sigh as I sunk back into the steps, "Just don't think about it." I breathed as I sucked in the warm air, "Ya right…"

Chapter 12

I pulled myself out of Nick's arms, "No, uh uh. I will cuddle with you, kiss you, hug you, sleep, but only sleep, with you in the same bed. But no sex."
Nick face broke into a huge smile, "Whoa, you really do love me, huh?"
"What?" I asked, surprised.
"I was just playing with you, I wanted to see if you'd jump right in bed with me. But you just showed that you really do respect and care about me." He said as he sat on the corner of his bed, "And that's kinda creepy." He said with a laugh.
I sat down next to him and looked at him strangely, "You're such a jerk." I laughed as I pushed him back on the bed.
He laughed as I stood up, "Now do you want to make out?" he joked, still laying down.
I shook my head as I walked to the TV and removed three boxed movies he had rented from the blockbuster a few blocks down, "Hm, all three Aliens." I hummed as I read all the names on the side of the boxes.
"Yah," Nick laughed as he crawled off the bed, "I thought you just might get scared enough you'd do one of those girlie things girls do in the movies." He said as he stood next to me.
"What's that?" I asked, not even knowing what he was talking about.
"You know, the thing where they scream then dig their face into the guys chest." He smiled.
I placed the boxes on the TV one again, "No. Only stupid little girls trying to flirt with the guys do that. It's total preppy." I said as I started to step away.
Nick grabbed my arm and spun me around, "Alright, who are you and where is Patty?" he joked as he stared intensively into my eyes.
"What are you talking about?" I asked with a laugh.
"You are not the same Patricia I knew in high school. And not the same Patricia I met when I first got to California either. What happened?"
Found out you had a girlfriend. I thought to myself.
"It's because I told you I had a girlfriend, isn't it?" he asked, reading my mind.
I looked at him shocked, about to speak when he cut me off, "Patricia I want things to be like they used to be, that we could talk again like we used to." He said calmly.
"Things can't be the same forever, can they Nick?" I asked, mocking his question from days before.
He let his hand slide down my arm and meet at his side again, "Do you mind if I go shower?" I asked, realizing it was already close to midnight.
Nick seemed quiet and distant, "Yah, go ahead." He mumbled.
"Do you have something I can change into?" I asked.
He walked over to his duffel bag, unzipped it, and pulled out a white T-shirt, "Here." He said, handing it to me.
I looked at it in my hands for a moment before looking at Nick, "Did I say something Nick?"
I watched Nick swallow hard, "No. Don't worry about it Patty. Just go shower."
I stared at him for a moment, "If it was something I did, I'd want you to tell me."
"Don't worry about it, ok Patty." He said sternly.
I nodded my head before slowly turning to the bathroom, "I'm just gonna lay down while I wait for you. Ok?" he asked as he sat on the bed before lying down and reaching over to turn off the lamp.
"Ok." I whispered as I stood in the doorway and watched Nick lie in the darkness as he stared up at the ceiling. Was I ruining his life? Was he thinking that looking for me was a big mistake? But wait. He did look for me. He did have some kind of feelings for me. But I already knew that. They were those damn friendship feelings. I sighed as I stepped into the bathroom, shutting off all light from the room Nick was in…While I was in the shower I thought I heard the phone but I guess that was just my imagination.
About a half hour later I was done and had slipped on the white shirt Nick had given me. It hung down right above my knees and was really baggy. I stepped out of the bathroom and sat on the corner of Nick's bed, "Nick." I whispered.
"Hm?" I heard him mumble. He was half asleep already.
"Do you want me to sleep on the floor?" I asked.
He was fully awake now and sitting up as he rubbed his eyes, he looked at me, trying to focus his eyes in the darkness of the room, "You look good in that shirt." He complimented.
"Um…thanks." I said with a little laugh.
He shook his head for a moment, "Um, no I don't want you sleeping on the floor." He said as he placed his arms around my waist and pulled me down on top of him, "Alright, I get it." I laughed as I tried to pull away from him, he just tightened his grasp.
"Ok, dude. That's what you guys call each other right? Dude, let go." I laughed.
"I don't want to." He smiled.
"Oh you don't?" I asked.
"No. That's the whole point of this sleepover thing. For me to just hold you. I like this a lot." He said, quietly.
I smiled. I had waited for him to say that for so long, "You really like it?" I asked hopefully.
"Yah," he said as he rolled over and I slipped off of him with his arms around me the whole time, he looked into my eyes and smiled, "you fit in my arms perfectly."
I half smiled half laughed at the twinkle in his eyes, "I wish I had gotten to you first." I whispered.
The smile washed off Nick's face as he continued to stare into my eyes, "Yah, I guess." He whispered.
I looked at him for a moment before sitting up and pulling my way out of his arms, I stood up and turned back to the bed, "Nick. Forget about me. I know what you're doing. You're trying to make yourself feel something for me. Alright, just stop. Thanks for trying. I appreciate it. But go back to Mandy. You have feelings for her that I don't think you even know about. You'll discover them soon enough, just forget about me." I said while putting on my jacket and slipping on my shoes.
Nick scurried off the bed and jogged over to me, "No, I'm sorry Patricia. Don't go, please." He pleaded as he pulled on my sleeve.
"Nick stop." I said loudly as I turned to him, "I never meant for you to lose your mind during all this. I could never control anything I felt for you. And I seriously never thought I would be left behind. But it's not your fault I was. It was all mine and stop trying to make it your fault! Please." I said as I felt tears weld in my eyes, "I've lived six years of my life without you, I can do it forever." I said as I turned to the door.
Nick watched as I closed it behind me. I ran down the empty hall, my footsteps echoing the whole time…
I found myself sometime later on my porch swing in front of my house. I was supposed to be at Sam's, or so my parent's thought. And I couldn't go inside. And I wanted to be alone, so I didn't go to Sam's.
I wrapped my arms around my body. I left my clothes at Nick's and I still had on the white t-shirt. I closed my eyes as a tear slipped away, just push him out of your mind. I said to myself. Apparently outloud because I got an answer.
"Don't." I heard someone say.
I opened my eyes to Nick leaning against the railing to the porch, "Why do you do this?" I asked, standing up, "I try to lose all my feelings for all you and all you do is bring them back! Do you like seeing me miserable!?"
"That's just it Patricia," Nick said walking over to me, "you can never push feelings for someone away, I've learned the hard way. I'm just trying to help you decide what's right. And help me decide what I really want."
"What's right? And what do you want?" I asked as I looked into his eyes.
"I don't even know. But the way I see it, we can find out together." He said calmly.
I slightly shook my head with my eyes closed, "Just let me help Patricia, please." He said as he gently kissed my lips.
I opened my eyes, "Please." He whispered again, placing his hand on my cheek.
My heart beat fast, my eyes were cloudy with tears, and I wanted to scream, Nick kissed me again. Instantly calming me down. This was no longer my fault. I tried pushing him away, but he wouldn't leave. Anything that happened from this moment on was his fault, he was the one with the girlfriend.
We both fell to sleep on the porch swing that night, not solving any of our problems, but just being together seemed to make everything right for that night and that night only. Nick had his arms around me and I had my head on his chest. Touching him instantly set the world right. At least in my eyes. I would stare up at Nick occasionally and watch him peacefully sleep. A strand of his blonde hair in his eyes and a small smile on his face once in awhile. I don't know when, but I fell to sleep. With the thought of this being heaven in my mind…

Chapter 13

I woke up the next morning to nothing but sunshine flooding onto the porch. I was lying down on my back with my one leg flung over the back, "What the…" I started as I sat up. The memories of the past night flooded into my mind, "It was a dream." I said quietly as I looked around, "Why does it always have to be a dream?" I sighed as I stood up and walked into the house, It was strangely quiet, except for the familiar sound of Bach playing in the background. My sister loved the classical music and she listened to it all the time, I walked into the kitchen and my sister stood up out of the chair she was sitting in, "Jeesh, I never thought you were going to get up. But Nick told me not to let you go anywhere today."
Nick? I thought, then spoke my mind, "When was he hear?" I asked pulling open the fridge.
She looked at me funny, "Uh, he was here all last night, well that's what he told me at least."
Ok, so it wasn't a dream…
"Oh yah, of course." I said casually, "Why doesn't he want me to go anywhere today?" I asked.
She tilted her head to the side and rolled her eyes, "Patty, did you have anywhere to go?" she asked sarcastically.
"Well….no." I said slowly, "But something might have come up." I said as I snatched the orange juice out of the fridge and grabbed a glass out of the cabinet above my head, "You never answered my question." I said, looking back at Lindsy who was now sitting on the counter top.
"Oh…uh…" she paused, clearly trying to make something up, "you know, he never told me why. He just said to make sure you don't go anywhere."
I sat down at the small table in the kitchen and poured my orange juice, "You know, it's so hard to believe that's the same kid. He's so damn hot now… and I think he really likes you." She said as she jumped off the counter and sat down in a chair across from me.
"Taken." I said, taking a sip of my juice.
"You're not taken." She laughed, then her face got serious, "You haven't been telling him that, have you?" she asked quickly.
"No," I said shaking my head, "he's taken."
Lindsy's mouth dropped open but it was like she was faking that, "Oh man!" she yelled, "No fair!" Then she got a strange smile on her face "But who knows what can happen in the future", she said.
"Why does this come as such a shock to you Lindsy? He's a smart, funny, hot, singing, dancing, fool. Did you not expect him to meet lots of girls?" I asked.
"Well…no! It's just….but you've liked him for so long!" she wined.
I smiled at my sisters concern for my feelings, "Don't worry about it."
She dropped her shoulder's and pouted as the doorbell rang, "I'll get it." I said standing up and racing to the entryway of the house where I swung open the glass door.
"Hello." Smiled a very handsome delivery man, "I have a few packages for a Miss Patricia Mcbright." He said looking down at one of the packages under his arm before looking back at me.
"That's me." I said slowly, eyeing all the packages. I wasn't expecting anything.
"Sign here please." He said as he laid one of the larger packages on the ground by his feet and handed me a black clipboard. I signed the paper and he smiled and tipped his hat, "Would you like help brining them in?" he asked.
"Um, no. My sister can help. Thank you though." I smiled.
He smiled and nodded one last time before hopping in his large delivery truck and driving down the sunny street.
"Lindsy! Come here!" I yelled as I picked up one of the boxes. This one was light, but something slid around in it. Lindsy came around the corner but stopped suddenly when she saw the three boxes at my feet.
"What the---" she asked as she stepped over to me.
"Your guess is as good as mine, lets go open them in the livingroom." I said as I started towards the livingroom. Lindsy picked up the two other boxes and followed. I sat on the couch as Lindsy sat on the arm of the large overstuffed couch. The long, thin box was lying across my lap, I looked down at the brown paper then up at my sister, "Open it!" she shrieked.
I laughed as I looked back down at the box, I ripped off the paper and tossed it to the side, now on my lap, was a long white box, with a beautiful baby blue ribbon tied around it and holding it shut. I gently undid the ribbon and removed the lid of the box, folded inside was a large white piece of cloth, I grabbed it by the top and yanked it out. In my hands was the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. It was sleeveless, but had small white straps, the dress was long and the skirt was flowing.
"Oh wow Patty! Do you know what that is?" Lindsy asked jumping off the couch.
"It's beautiful." I said, looking it over.
"Yah…well that too. But that's the dress that's in the window of that really fancy dress shop in town. I would know since I love to spend so much money." She said with a smirk. A fact about my sister, loves to spend money. Lots of money, even if she has no reason to. Since we were brought up in a fairly rich family, she thought she could spend all the money in the world. She got that from my mom.
"But that dress is to expensive even for my taste." She said making a funny face. "Five thousand." She said quietly.
"Nu uh!" I said loudly as I looked back at the dress, "No way!"
"It's made by one of the best designers, there was only ten made."
"Oh my gosh!" I said as I looked back at her, "There is no way I can take this!"
"Well what are you going to do? Send it back? Oh yah! Good way to make your way to Nick's heart!" she yelled sarcastically.
I looked at the dress, "Do you think Nick really sent it?"
"Who else do we know has five thousand dollars as pocket change?" she asked placing her hands on her hips.
I took a deep breath as she walked to the couch, "Come on, lets open the others." She said picking up the high square box. She pulled of the paper and it was a white hatbox, once again tied shut with a ribbon, but a pink one this time. She untied the ribbon and pulled off the top, I leaned over to see what was inside. Large pieces of pink silk were set in the box, two very delicate hair clips were set in place. Each one having a white diamond heart at their ends, "Oh my gosh!" Lindsy screamed as she clasped her hands, "How adorable."
"There's a note." I said, pointing down at it.
Lindsy was too busy looking at one of the hair clips, I snatched up the note, tore open the envelope, and pulled out the folded piece of paper,

"Lindsy,
"Hey girlie! Thanks for making Patricia stay home today, I owe you one. Well two…cause I need another favor to ask of you. Could you do Patricia's hair really pretty, she told me once that you were really good at that hair stuff. Thanks again girl, and I'll see you there! Peace,Nick ;e)"

I looked up from the note to see Lindsy looking at me, "See you there?" I asked her.
"Don't worry about it." She said taking the note from me, "Come on, open the last box. It's already one o'clock and Nick told me to have you done by seven." She said as she tossed me a small, flat box. I sighed as I flopped back down on the couch, I pulled off the paper and ooh! Surprise! Another white hinged box. This one though, had a purple ribbon. I opened the box and sitting in the white velvet jewelry case, was a silver chain, with a white diamond heart in the middle. I smiled as I took it out of the box, "It's pretty." Lindsy smiled as she watched me put it on.
I looked down at it and bit my lip, "Ok Lindsy, let's start…"
Hours later I had way too much time on my hands. I was pacing my room, just like I was the first time Nick had stolen my heart, waiting for something. My long white dress swooshing rhythmically with my footsteps. Later, after I had gotten my dress and everything on, two more packages arrived. One, a box of white shoes. Another, pink and white roses. I looked out the bedroom door and thought I saw my brother, looking really made up as he ran down the stairs. I thought maybe he knew something about tonight and walked out into the hall, "Jordan. Jordan." I said as I raced down the stairs. I started to go into the livingroom but ran into my sister, "Ah!" she yelled. I yelled at the same time when I saw what she was wearing. Before she had on a pair of hip hugger jeans and a tight maroon shirt, her blonde hair down over her shoulders. Now her hair was in a towel on top of her head, she had on her bunny slippers and her pink robe, "What are you doing?" I asked.
"Um…um…" she thought, "getting ready for a date."
I had talked to her about this the night before, she said she didn't have a date at all this weekend, "Oh," I said, trying my hardest to play along, "What about Ty? He looked really nice."
"I don't know where Ty is." She said, leaning back to take a peek out the back door, where he must have been making his getaway, "I haven't seen him." She said, looking back at me.
I sighed as I walked past her to the livingroom where I flopped down on the couch. The Grandfather clock rung six o'clock. The next hour flew by. Lindsy had left on her 'date' and my parents or Jordan never came back home. I just sat there, watching the colors of the sunset outside bounce off the white walls of the livingroom. Suddenly, the clock rung seven o'clock. I don't know what I was expecting, but nothing happened. Instead, twenty minutes later, a knock came on the door. I stood up and raced into the entry way, I pulled open the door and there stood a short, chubby, old man, dressed in a black tux with a long tail, and a high top hat, he bowed, "Sorry I'm late ma'am. Mr. Carter told me to be fashionably late, he's a funny one that boy is." He said in a soft English accent.
I smiled, he took my hand, "Now, if we can be off." He said as he led me out of my house. As we walked down the sidewalk, I heard a strange sound, I looked across the street to see a horse and carriage parked along the curb. It was something you'd see only in Central Park in New York City, not a everyday sight of California. I smiled as he helped me into the back of the carriage where two white horses were in the front. I sat on the velvet seat and the man got on a high seat in front, behind the horses, "So, Mr. Carter has planned a big night for you I hear." He smiled as he started the horses down the street.
"I'm not sure, no one will tell me anything." I said as I watched the cars zoom by.
The man chuckled, "Well, I think you'll have fun…"

Chapter 14

Slowly the carriage came to a stop. In front of my high school, Beachside High? What is that boy thinking? I thought to myself as the gray man got down from the driver's seat of the carriage, he took my hand and helped me out, "Mr. Carter is a hand full, huh miss?"
I took my skirt in my hand so it wouldn't get ruined on the way down from the high carriage seats, the two white horses in the front stood perfectly still as I climbed down, I dusted off my hands as I looked up at my high school, "He sure is." I sighed, looking back down at the man.
He smiled as he tipped his hat, "I'll be out here when you're ready to leave. Take your time and have fun."
I looked back at my school and nodded, "Thank you."
"My pleasure." He smiled as I started towards my school. As I walked in, a paper sign, made from a computer somewhere in the school, read; "Dance of 93' in gym."
I stared at it for a moment, my head gently tilted to the side, "Oh, Nick Carter." I mumbled under my breath as I started down the hall.
Only minutes later I found myself standing in front of the double doors that led to the basketball court of the school. There stood two Knight costumes, or so I thought. As I started to the doors the two 'men' moved and held open the door for me. I placed my hand on my chest as I slightly jumped back. The one man bowed as he ushered his arm inside. I hesitantly walked in. And when I did, the very breath inside of my body had been knocked away.
I stood in my school's basketball court. People I loved were everywhere. Busy slow dancing and laughing as they were dressed in prom dresses and tuxes. On the far side was a fold out table of punch and refreshments. Disco balls were hung on the ceiling, creating small little stars glimmering off the walls as they slowly spun.
My mom and dad were the first people in the crowd to catch my eye. They were dancing, looking into each other's eyes, something I hadn't seen in a long time. I noticed a few friends from my school, every single person in town was there, smiling, dancing, and having the best time I had ever seen any of them have. Samantha was the next person who caught my eye, she was busy dancing with the principles son. Boys lining the wall waiting to be the next to get a dance with her. I smiled as I bit my bottom lip.
My eyes moved to the 'just made' stage, where I saw the other four Backstreet Boys sitting on stools and singing 'I'll Never Break Your Heart'. I shook my head and smiled as Brian looked over at me and winked, not missing a single word in the song.
But then I saw the banner above the stage. It was purple silk, and in yellow letters it read, "*Princess' and Princes' of Starlight* 1993-1999"
I felt those dreaded tears rise in my eyes as I looked back down at the crowd. Slowly, I saw the face I had been longing to see. Nick slowly pushed his way through the dancing people and before long, stood in front of me.   "You look amazing." He whispered as he looked down at me, "Somehow I knew you would."
I swallowed hard, "How did you do all this?" I asked with a small laugh, "How did you know my shoe sizes and everything?"
Nick took my hands in his and stared down at them, he smiled as he looked up at me, "Track Coach. He knew what size you wore in clothes and shoe. You really need to thank your mom for all this, she made sure everyone kept quiet. So my princess, what did ya think about the horses and everything?"
I laughed gently as I shook my head from side to side, "Amazing. As usual. You never cease to amaze me."
Nick smiled.
Before I knew it, my little brother had his arms wrapped around my legs that were hidden in the long cloth of the dress, "Max, what are you doing?" I asked as I leaned down.
"Please tell Helen not to dance with me! Make her leave me alone!" he yelled over the music as he held onto my legs even tighter and clenched his eyes shut. I looked up and saw a little girl, Max's age, she went to daycare with him. Her little dress and bouncing dark curls made me smile, "Hi Helen." I smiled.
"Hi Patricia!" Helen smiled as she stopped in front of me, she looked at Max who was still holding onto me, "What's he doing?" she asked as she nodded towards him. I shrugged.
"Come on crazy!" she said as she started pulling on his arms, "Come dance with me!"
"No!" he yelled as his grip tightened.
"Helen, uh," I thought. I looked up at the punch table where Mrs. Carpenter, my English teacher was pouring more punch, "Mrs. Carpenter needs Max's help with the punch. Can he dance with you later?" I asked, looking into the little girls green eyes.
"Well…" she thought, looking at Max, "I guess."
"Thanks." I smiled as I ran my hand over her cheek, "You know what? I think I saw little Drew around here somewhere. Go see if he wants to dance." I heard Nick snicker above me. I looked up at him and smiled.
"Alright, bye Patricia!" she said as she started skipping away.
I waited until she was out of sight, "She's gone Max. I think you better go play with James before she remembers you owe her a dance."
"Phew." He sighed as he let go of my legs, "You're the best Patty." He said before running to find his friend. Nick looked at me with his deep blue eyes and they had like little lights in them. "Why are you staring at me, Nick?" I asked.

Final chapter

I stood back up just to catch Nick's eyes still on me, "What?" I laughed.
"You're the best Patty!" he mocked.
I laughed as I shook my head, "So what were you snickering about?"
"Drew? Man that kid is a pain! We were here trying to set up and all he did was pull the streamers and everything down. It serves him right to be tortured by that little girl." He smiled.
I laughed."Well, back to my serious, romantic side." He said, standing up straight, "May I have this dance with the most beautiful young lady in the ballroom tonight?" he asked with a slight bow and placing out his hand. I smiled as I took his hand. As he led me to the middle of the floor, I saw my sister, Lindsy, dancing with a young man, oh wait. My little brother Max. I laughed, she was making him dance with her. He had a look of hate on his face at that very moment. Then I saw Jordan, my brother. Standing by the stage, helping AJ with his microphone that was having problems. I hadn't even noticed Nick and I were dancing. That's how it was for the next two hours. I was content. My Jr. high dance was coming true, but not with the kids I disliked, but loved ones and friends.What seemed like only moments later, Nick whispered, "Come with me."
I lifted my head off his shoulder and looked into his eyes for a moment, he smiled, "I mean---please."
I smiled as he took my hand and pulled me through the crowd. We left the gym then and found ourselves outside on the beach that was practically the backyard of the school. Nick stopped in his tracks and wrapped his arms around me, he started to slow dance with me again, "I'm sorry for the past week, it's kind of been rough." He said as he looked up at the dark night sky.I was quiet.
He looked back down at me, "You alright?"
I slowly nodded, "Yah, I'm fine. It's just, everything is more than perfect now. But when we leave tonight, problems will be back, along with feelings. And I'm kind of scared."
I sighed as I laid my head on his shoulder. He gently ran his one hand up my back. I stared out over the water before slowly closing my eyes and listening to the faint music in the background coming from inside the gym.
"It's not that I can't live without you, it's just that I don't even want to try. Everynight I dream about you. Ever since the day we said, goodbye."
I heard AJ's voice and I gently held Nick tighter. Why did this song do this to me, why did I think of Nick? I'd have to talk to Kevin about this later…Since Nick wasn't there singing with the guys, Brian took his part, " If I wasn't such a fool, right now I'd be holding you, there's nothing that I wouldn't do, baby if I only knew…"
Then came their perfect harmony.
"The words to say, the road to take, to find a way back to your heart. What can I do? To get to you and find a way back to your heart.
"Patricia?", he wispered "Yeah,?" I said. "Can I ask you something", he asked while he looked in my eyes. "Sure go ahead", I said.
"Well, I want to find a way back to your heart and to proover I really mean it, what would you think of being Misses Patricia Carter?"asking with a shining in his eyes. "Before you answer, let me explain ok? While you were in the shower yesterday, Mandy called. She said that we had to talk cause she couldn't keep it longer inside her. She said that she couldn't take the pressure of being with a Backstreet Boy and she wanted finally think about her singing career. And also that she fell in love with one of her dancers. That was also the reason things weren't going so good between us. We both decided that it would be better to break up now things are still going easy and be friends. After I talked to Mandy, I realised that I loved Mandy but not as much as I love you. Somehow you were also on my mind the last six years we didn't see eachother. Breaking up with Mandy made me realize that you are the girl I loved, I love and I always will love."
I looked at Nick with open mouth and with tears in my eyes. Nick found the words to say, he found the road to take, and he found the way back to my heart… "Oh Nick", I said with a thrilling voice, "You found the right way to my heart and Yes, I will be Misses Nick Carter."
Nick held me tighter and he looked in my eyes and I could see he was happy ! He whiped the tears of my eyes and then he gave me the most passionate kiss, I ever had in my life !
"I love you Nick Carter", I said and smiled. "I love you even more, Patricia Carter"....he whispered